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You know you’re in Zululand when…
Motoring journalist, VAL VAN DER WALT takes a comical look at what it is like traveling on Zululand roads.
You know you are in Zululand when…
Getting to work costs you more in traffic fines than in petrol.
You share the road with people pushing shopping trolleys.
At a green light you have to wait for the customary three cars sneaking across before you can go.
You are genuinely and pleasantly surprised to find your car parked where you left it.
Some parts of town are inaccessible because of road works – for 10 years at a time.
You discover a new speed hump every day.
Petrol attendants prefer dancing in the hot sun above working in the shade.
Traffic lights only work on weekends when scrap metal dealers are closed.
Your SUV has a much better chance of going on a trip to Mozambique than you.
By some miracle the guy parked in the disabled bay can walk.
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And the traffic lights breed and multiply during the hours of darkness.
When you’re travelling 120km and a loaded taxi flashes at you to move over only to slow down to 80 on the hill.
You realise that you have been mis informed about indicators, In Zululand it is used to show other drivers that you have all ready turned, and not to warn the drivers behind you that you intend to turn.
*Red Traffic lights are seen as merely a suggestion, amber lights as a Russian roulette challenge.
*The presence of a Traffic Cop on the road automatically renders every right foot spastic, slowing the average speed down to the speed of a sand snail.
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