Dialogue on domestic violence continues

As part of the 16 Days of Activism campaign promoting an end to violence against men, women and children, Richards Bay

SAPS members Debbie Ferreira and Michelle Michael hosted an awareness talk at Seeff Richards Bay last week.

Michael said the campaign predominantly focuses on women, children and people living with disabilities, but has evolved to also focus on men, who were also victims of abuse and violence.

‘A perpetrator of domestic violence usually acts out something they have witnessed or learnt, and in most instances they were themselves exposed to abuse.

‘Even though a perpetrator may have been a victim, no form of violence can ever be condoned, and we must understand that this abnormal behaviour was learnt from somewhere and the perpetrator believes it to be normal,’ said Michael.

‘It is a harsh reality, but many people stay in relationships because families are encouraged to endure and stay in unhealthy and violent relationships for appearance and fear of public perceptions.

‘Why can’t we share the lows of life with our sisters or friends but only highlight the highs of our life and lead people to believe we are living perfect lives?

‘When we live in this madness, we are broken on the inside.

‘As women we have a voice but we are not using it. We think about what our friends will say and we live to please others.

‘Domestic violence can be anything that is done to you to bring you down.

‘Anybody that lives in a toxic relationship goes through different stages, and it starts from being an enabler. This happens the first time a perpetrator does something that unsettles and hurts you, but you do nothing about it,’ said Michael.

‘So they come back with more attacks and you become a victim when you succumb to the abuse.

‘It becomes the norm and you begin making excuses for your partner.

‘The survivor stage is reached when you find your strength, reach a point where you have had enough and take action by seeking help at the police station, trauma centres and local courts.

‘Talking about the experiences at every step of the way brings healing and you move on to start rebuilding your life.

‘You become a free person, gain your self-worth and respect, love yourself again and use your voice to break the cycle of abuse,.

‘This is only possible when a victim of domestic violence makes that choice to help themselves and use their voice.’

HAVE YOUR SAY

Like our Facebook page and follow us on Twitter.

For news straight to your phone invite us:

WhatsApp – 072 069 4169

Instagram – zululand_observer