A lesson learnt from popular singers’ recent suicides

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The suicide of Linkin Park front man Chester Bennington on Thursday – barely three months after Soundgarden lead singer Chris Cornell’s untimely death – came as a massive blow to fans.

Chris Cornell, who also killed himself, would have turned 53 on the day that Chester decided to end his life – and immediately the media and fans are speculating whether this holds any clues into Chester’s state of mind, or if it’s just an ironic and very tragic coincidence.

Most of us Generation X kids had at least one favourite Linkin Park song when we grew up. As kids, we moshed and head-banged along to songs such as Crawling.

How little did we know that these songs, laced with depressing and suicidal lyrics, would one day become ‘true’. That Bennington actually meant what he was singing.

This is perhaps the biggest tragedy, that he’s been publicly pleading for help for years, but that it literally fell on deaf ears.

Now, all of a sudden, we want to analyse the lyrics of songs like One More Light (2017):

Who cares if one more light goes out

In the sky of a million stars

It flickers, flickers

Who cares when someone’s time runs out

If a moment is all we are

Or quicker, quicker

Chris Cornell’s death may a bit more complex. His wife blames the anxiety drugs he was on for his irrational behaviour on the night he died at his own hand.

But, yet again, many of his songs, especially the older ones, expressed a sentiment of lacking the will to live.

What do we take from this?

We now realise that we should pay more attention to the people in our lives who suffer from depression or who may be going through severe trauma – even more so if they have verbally expressed suicidal thoughts.

Suicide.org has the following advice:

• Always take suicidal comments very seriously

Assuming that the person is only seeking attention is a very serious, and potentially disastrous, error. Get help immediately.

• Try not to act shocked

The person is already highly distressed, and if you are shocked by what is said, the person will become more distressed. Stay calm, and talk with him or her in a matter-of-fact manner.

• Do not handle the situation by yourself

A suicidal person needs immediate assistance from qualified mental health professionals.

• Listen attentively to everything the person has to say

Let the person talk as much as he or she wants. Listen closely so you can be as supportive as possible, and learn as much as possible about what is causing the suicidal feelings.

• Comfort the person with words of encouragement

Intense emotional pain can be overwhelming, so be as gentle and caring as possible. Listen carefully, and offer encouraging words when appropriate.

• Let the person know that you are deeply concerned

Tell and show the person that you are concerned. A suicidal person is highly vulnerable and needs to feel that concern.

• If the person is at a high risk of suicide, do not leave him or her alone

Do not leave a critically suicidal person alone for even a second. Only after you get professional help for the person can you consider leaving him or her.

• Talk openly about suicide

Ask the person, ‘Are you feeling so bad that you are thinking about suicide?’ If the answer is yes, find out as much as possible about what is going on in the person’s mind. The more planning that someone has put into a suicide, the greater the risk. If the person has a method and a time in mind, the risk is extremely high.

• If the person talks about using a firearm that he or she owns, for suicide, call the police so they may remove the firearm

• Don’t be judgmental

Do not invalidate anything that the person says or feels. The person is probably suffering from a chemical imbalance in the brain, and thus could not possibly think clearly. Be supportive and caring, not judgmental.

• Be careful of the statements that you make

You do not want to make the person feel any worse than he or she already does. The person is probably suffering from a chemical imbalance in the brain and is thus extremely sensitive.

• Let the person express emotion in the way that he or she wants

Allow the person to cry, yell, swear and do what is necessary to release the emotion. However, do not allow the person to become violent or harm himself or herself.

• After the person has received help and is no longer critically suicidal, help the person make an appointment with a medical doctor and a therapist

Suicidal feelings need to be dealt with on a professional level. Only trained professionals should assume the care for the person.

• Don’t keep someone’s suicidal intentions a secret

Under no circumstances can you keep a ‘secret’ that could cause someone’s death. You are not violating a privileged communication; you are taking the steps necessary to prevent a suicide. That is an expression of love, caring, and deep concern, and is the only ethical choice in a situation as serious as this.

• Follow up with the person on a regular basis to make sure that he or she is doing okay

Suicidal feelings can come and go, so follow up to see how the person is. It is very important to show continued support. If the person becomes suicidal again, take immediate action to help him or her.