To spank or not to spank – that is the question

THE wisest man of all times, King Solomon, said: ‘Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him’ (Prov 13:24).
He reiterated his thoughts in Proverbs 29:15, when he in no uncertain terms confirmed his firm belief that spanking was the answer to quickly impart astuteness and understanding to the young ones, saying: ‘The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother’.

And he should know, having had 700 wives and 300 concubines and according to the Bible, also having loved many foreign women. The Bible is not clear about how many children the wise king sired, but it would be fair to expect he had at least some experience in fatherhood – if only to realise that it was usually the mom who ended up with a red face because of the general belief that an unruly child reflects his upbringing. Or lack thereof.

The debate on spanking children, hardly has fence sitters. Some parents are vehemently opposed to the very idea, while for others, a well-timed spanking is Gospel.

 
The Afrikaans idiom says: ‘’n Pak op sy tyd is soos brood en konfyt’. This is loosely translated as ‘A well-timed hiding, is like bread and jam’.

 
All good parents who love their children passionately and want only the best for them, agree that child abuse in any form, however subtle, is absolutely abhorrent.

 
In the writer’s opinion, the true question is not: ‘Should corporal punishment by parents be outlawed?’ but rather, ‘If I love my child more than life, but he or she persistently refuses to obey a crucial instruction, and their disobedience could cause serious harm to themselves or others, should I resort to a physical discipline?’

 
Firstly, there is a difference in intention, when spanking a child to punish and spanking a child to discipline him.
‘Punishment’ is derived from the Latin word ‘punire’, and means ‘to correct, chastise, take vengeance for, inflict a penalty on, or cause pain for some offense’.

 
‘Discipline’, or in Latyn, ‘disciplina’, on the other hand, means ‘instruction given, teaching, learning and knowledge’.
Any person who often and for long periods care for children, will confirm that anger and frustration can be very normal feelings for an adult, especially if the child is strong willed and not easily reasoned with or convinced to follow the rules.

 
There are many instances when even ‘innocent’ activities can cause serious injuries, such as a toddler jumping on the bed or the table as soon as the adult turns his back. Yes, the adult can use many other methods to correct the behaviour, but, they may fail to render the immediate corrective results called for in the specific instance.

 
And, are those methods less harmful? The time-out principle can work for compliant children, but for the strong-willed ones, it could lead to feeling isolated, rejected and ignored, especially if it is often imposed.

 
In conclusion, it is the writer’s opinion, that bad parents are not deterred by legislation. They will continue their wicked deeds although we have some of the best Children’s Acts and Constitutions in the world.

 
But honest, good parents, should be guided and assisted to make the right decisions for their children. The penalty should always fit the ‘crime’. Don’t spank anytime and for any little misdeed or accident.

 
Spanking should be considered only as a last resort, when all other reasonable and corrective measures have failed. The age, understanding and physical attributes of a child should carefully be considered.

Also, buttocks marks the spot. An unpleasant slap on the rear end may result in a little tears and a sting, but a gash in the head can end up in the emergency room.