FOR those of us with children returning to school, there are some mixed emotions.
Joy that the holidays are over. Sadness that the holidays are over. But we’ve been through the start of school routine and know that everyone will settle in quickly.
However, for the parents with children starting school for the first time – or starting at a new school – this time of year can be particularly stressful.
And this is even more problematic when a child is anxious or clingy.
But, don’t worry, many parents have had to go through this and there are some ways to ease the anxiety for both parent and child during this transition.
Start the routine early
The morning school routine can be quite stressful, even with children who are happy to go off to school, generally because there is so little time to get everything done. As a way to ease your child into the school routine, start emulating the morning routine in the holidays so it’s not a sudden shock to the system.
For children who like to sleep late, make sure they have an earlier bedtime and gently rouse them around the time they’ll have to wake for school.
If at all possible, get school clothes and lunches prepared the night before, so there is less hassle for you and more time to focus on readying your child for the day.
Children love routine. It provides security and a sense of control. This is even more necessary when encountering new situations like school.
Get positive about school
New experiences for children are always stress-inducing, even for children who aren’t necessarily anxious.
You can make the idea of school a lot less scary by talking about what the child can expect to do every day, and maintaining a positive outlook about school and all school-related matters.
Talking to your child about your days at school, acknowledging their apprehension, and talking through it will take away some of the ‘unknown’ and replace it with exciting options.
Remember, children might cry, but this reaction is normal. Don’t tell them not to cry, and try not to cry yourself! Be strong.
Give the child a reason to go
Sometimes a bit of a distraction will help focus the energy on something positive, allowing the child to forget all the worries and giving them a sense of purpose.
Give your child a ‘mission’ to accomplish every day, and then talk about it when you pick them up after school.
Some ideas are:
• Find out the names of all your new classmates.
• Find out what your teacher’s favourite colour is.
• Count how many toilets there are in the bathroom.
• Check if there are any yellow leaves on the playground.
• Remember what everyone eats at snack time.
These will obviously be tailored for the age group and capabilities, but it often helps when there is something specific to focus on.
Don’t sneak off
There is a strong desire to get a child settled in the classroom and then sneak away without saying goodbye.
While this might ease the parting for you, it’s doing nothing for your child who suddenly feels abandoned.
It can even lead to trust issues for the child, which isn’t what you want.
Although a farewell might end in tears, it’s important to give your child the opportunity to say goodbye. Give lots of hugs and kisses and reassure them before leaving.
Make drop-off quick
There is nothing worse for teachers trying to settle a classroom than parents lingering while their children cling to them.
The reality is that, after initial tears, the teacher will undoubtedly distract your child with some fun activity, and the separation anxiety decreases.
If you also need some reassurance, ask the teacher to send a picture of your child in class – just not every day!
As stressful as it might be in the beginning, children benefit so much from school, at both an educational level and a social one.
You are the most important person in their life, but they need to learn how to be themselves without you there.
If you keep that in mind, school drop-offs are much easier.
