Who is Roller man?
I call him Roller Man and you see him, or bits of him, on a video clip on the Rolls Royce page
ROLLS Royce launched the all new Phantom in SA recently, and seeing that the pinnacle of motoring opulence is beyond the reach of the mere newspaper reader, there was no press release.
No price, no specification list and no details…
So, to learn more about the new Phantom, I had to website stalk the vehicle, and while at it, something, or rather, someone else seemed to be far more interesting than the actual car.
I call him Roller Man and you see him, or bits of him, on a video clip on the Rolls Royce page.
This man, who doesn’t care how much the price is of what looks like the love child of the Starship Enterprise and a battle tank, only wears black.
He’s either an architect or a career poker player, because at the start of the clip he’s making what seems like an office block out of paper cards.
His own office is on top of a skyscraper and has a balcony on to which he steps out to smoke cigars.
You never see Roller Man’s face, only bits of square, granite-like chin and dark hair with a faint grey tint, so he might be an organised crime boss linked to rhino poaching, arms smuggling or prostitution.
Or all of the above.
After work, if you can describe playing with bits of paper as such, he attends black tie events.
At these events, as seen in the clip, he picks up young women whose black cocktail dresses show off their perfectly shaped bare shoulders.
He doesn’t take them home because his Phantom’s backseat is the size of the Sealy factory and has a massage function.
And I suppose if you are a solitary creature, like Roller Man, and loaded like the Sultan of Brunei, you don’t want any floozy to know where you live just because she has dainty shoulders.
Underworld
After showing Miss Galactica 2017 how the Phantom’s doors close themselves behind her, Roller Man’s chauffeur takes him into the city’s underworld where he takes part in a cage fighting event.
Yes, he’s a sophisticated, filthy rich barbarian!
Bare knuckle fights to the death in dark basements, where millions are betted on the outcome by other filthy rich, mysterious people, are what Roller Man does when he’s not playing cards.
And here I was, thinking only old, over the hill, fat men would want to own a battle tank.
While you don’t actually see him murdering someone, the clip does give glimpses of bare muscle and stubble, dripping with sweat, and a pair of dark eyes, void of sympathy for the losers.
Roller Man always wins, no matter what, and after the killer blow, heads out again, in his Phantom.
He’s not done with the night, yet, and steps out clean shaven and tuxedoed at a concert hall.
But he’s not there for the entertainment.
Again, Roller Man is the entertainment!
He takes centre stage on a grand piano, and his finely shaped fingers make such beautiful music that older women in the audience start to whimper like hungry Labrador puppies.
Business mogul, underground street fighter, lover of fine music…
Who is Roller Man?
After some more internet stalking I found out that he is Robert Mugabe and owns not only one, but two Rolls Royces.
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