MY STORY: Overcoming the challenges of living with HIV

‘I NEVER went out in search of HIV or placed an order for the virus to invade my body.

‘I will not be ashamed of it, but rather embrace it as part of me and not something that defines who or what I am,’

As the world commemorate World Aids Day, Zululand teacher, husband and father Mandla (34) shared his story about how he has been living positively with the HIV virus for 11 years.

When he was first diagnosed with HIV in 2006, he thought, like many others, it was the end of his life.

But more than a decade later he is not only living positively despite the disease, but has reached his ultimate dream of having a family – a wife and son.

‘I was young and knew nothing about living with HIV. I thought I would probably die before everyone else. I thought I would never be able to have children and would eventually develop some ghastly diseases. I soon realised none of that was true,’ Mandla said.

He was only 23 and had just finished his studies when he was diagnosed.

‘It was not easy to accept myself at first. Dreams of having a wife and children, a home and living a normal life were crushed and I went into depression.’

A year later he saw a glimmer of hope after he attended a local workshop on HIV/Aids. It changed his outlook he started gathering information about the virus.

‘I was tired of being depressed and wanted to live normally and contribute to society.

‘This meant revealing my status to family and friends, which was a difficult thing to do. I spoke to my counsellor who equipped me to deal with the issue.

‘People are still ignorant and discrimination is still part of my life. Despite all the information available about the disease, people still give you that look as if you will cough and infect them.

‘I decided then that my life was more important and now I proudly share information with everyone. I no longer care what people may say. I take my ARVs every day, do my exercise and eat healthy. This is about my life, my well-being and my future,’ said Mandla.

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Acceptance

After eight years of living with the virus, Mandla still faced the challenge of finding a partner who would accept him.

In 2014 he finally met the love of his life and several months later got married.

‘My wife is HIV negative and knows about my status, but she doesn’t judge me. We attend regular counselling sessions.’

A year later the couple was blessed with a baby boy who was born HIV negative.

‘Being open about my status gave us the opportunity to learn. While our doctor advises us to use protection during sexual intercourse, he said with the right medicationmy chances of transmitting the virus are negligible,

‘Some studies show that where only one partner is HIV positive and on medication, there are no transmissions whatsoever to an HIV negative partner.

‘My life expectancy is no less than anyone else’s. In fact, I expect to live longer because we are being monitored more closely.

Mandla hopes his experience will help change the mindsets of others about the virus.