‘My Story’- When love bites

Add as a preferred source on Google

‘BEING coloured, and falling in love with an Indian man, meant our families were torn in two.

But I really believed in true love, and he made me so happy.

Of course, as soon as his mother found out about us, the real trouble started.

She treated me terribly, and always took his side no matter what Brandon did – and he wasn’t perfect to say the least.

The fact that my father was an alcoholic and that this was well known in the community, did not help my case, and they all looked down on me.

Added to that, we were not ‘well-off’ which was also an issue with them. Basically, I had to fight for us every step of the way.

Soon I fell pregnant, and instead of it being a joyous occasion, this angered the families even more.

Still, I was determined to make it work and we were happy.

We married and life was good when the families were not interfering.

I had a good job, everything seemed to be going well – but then suddenly an old demon came back into Brandon’s life – alcohol.

Soon he had no job and it was left to me to support our household – and our baby – on my own.

A year later I got my dream job at a very reputable company after years of trying, but the downside was that I had to work night shifts.

Having newfound financial freedom made us very happy, but this happiness did not last long.

I started noticing that Brandon would act odd when I was on night shift. He would drink and claim to have passed out, but he sent me messages in the early hours of the morning and when I called him, he would sound wide awake.

Devastation

Then, one day, out of the blue, my world came crashing down on me.

I discovered my husband was cheating on me repeatedly. How? He had the audacity to come home with love bites.

I was crushed, an emotional wreck, and had to seek psychiatric help.

I felt like I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown, but still I believed in him – believed in ‘us’ – and stayed with him through all this.

Until the love bites appeared again…

This time I was not hurting. I was angry, and when I finally made the tough decision to leave him, I never shed a single tear.

Today, I am so much happier – even though I will admit that I still love and miss him immensely.

I can only hope my personal story helps those many women out there who think they have no choice but to stay in toxic, abusive relationships.

I spent ten years of my life with this man, but I still found the light at the end of the tunnel.

I don’t think that I will ever have the strength or courage to marry again, as I have now stereotyped all men into one category.

I would rather be happy and alone, than in a relationship that destroys me or hurts my child.

Ladies, you do not need bad, drunken, abusive men in your lives. Put yourselves and your children first.

Do you want to tell your story in our ‘My Story’ feature with the objective of raising awareness and understanding of different life experiences?
All experiences will be treated with extreme confidentiality. Email zulobs@zob.co.za